A short update for today as I've been too busy to think. Work sucked. It seems that even when I am functioning below par (as in the last few months where I've been spending a good portion of my time too obsessed/controlled by ED-type thoughts to actually do my job) I'm still functioning at a level above 90% of the people in the office who don't seem capable of doing their actual rolls. I don't get paid enough to be (or get any kudos/thanks for) taking the lead on team projects or patching up other people mistakes or looking ahead to analyse working practices so we can "contingency plan" and "future proof" and "apply best practice" and "increase capacity". And... ARGH! Business officey bollocky bollocks!!!
Anyway... breathe in, breathe out. Right. Rant over.
Yesterday sucked in terms of eating. I ate fruit for breakfast and purged everything else I ate. Today has been better, I've eaten more or less normally, though I have still purged once. And I feel hideous and moody. And I'm not happy about my bloody grey hair. And it's probably too much info but I feel horribly horribly constipated (but refuse to take laxatives and if I start doing that I'll be "giving myself permission" to use them and knowing me will end up mis-using them) and feel very bloated. And even though I'm trying to be pleased that my weight has more of less stabilised where it is for the last 10 days (because I'm trying really hard to fight these thoughts), to be honest I'm really not.
But I finished my current pack of the pill yesterday so it's a particular "time of the month". So heres hoping that "normal" service will resume shortly. Well... in a week maybe.
Grumpy mo-fo signing out. G'night.
I find the best think for constipation, as I get it a lot too, is just lots of fruit. If I make sure I have 4 or 5 pieces of fruit one day (I tend to have them cut up in a bowl for dinner, sometimes with some bread and cheese or something) then without fail that makes me go. If I eat 'normal' meals then I rarely go.
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